In the beginning of October I went to Kigali, Rwanda for a four day conference held by streetfootballworld. Compared to Kampala, Kigali feels and looks like a whole other world – there isn’t one piece of trash on the streets, there are trashcans everywhere, there are no squatters (in visible sight at least), and a majority of the streets are lighted and paved. Although the city is very clean and orderly, it honestly seems as if the genocide and its remains still haunt the city and the people. Instead of focusing on the conference or my thoughts on the genocide, this post will focus on one particular event that happened on my last night in Kigali. Katy and I decided to extend our stay in Kigali to explore the city a little more and I’m glad we made that choice. If we didn’t, the funniest moment since my arrival (and maybe my life?) will have never occurred. Katy wrote about the moment in her latest blog post, which you will find below with my very own commentary in aqua italics. Enjoy.
The Rwanda Bathroom Incident:
I can confidently say that this is the most hilarious thing that has happened since I’ve been here. I second this statement. Actually, looking back on it, it might be the most hilarious thing that has happened in my life. On our last night in Kigali, Olivier (SWB Coach and Rwanda native) took us to meet his family and a few of his friends. When we arrived at his friend, Vincent’s, house, Sara asked to use the bathroom. Let me preface this by saying I usually hold it in when I’m at someone’s house – many do not have running water so the toilet situation is always unknown and I feel bad if they have to prep water or the toilet (in most cases just a casual hole in the ground). Squat toilets are really a different world. Anyways, there was something different about this time. I decided to suck it up and ask. Not going to lie, I was even a little nervous to ask so Olivier initiated the conversation. Vincent’s wife, Clarise, said that she first needed to “prepare the water.” For about ten minutes, she walked back and forth from the kitchen to the outside bathroom carrying basins of water. At this point, I was really concerned. These ten minutes seemed like a life time. What did I just get myself into? Why does all this water need to be prepped? I had no idea how toilets work in Kigali for those who do not have running water. Not to mention I felt bad that I put Clarise to work for a solid ten minutes. But hey what is the worst that can happen, right? (Side note: meanwhile, Vincent woke up their 7 month-old baby, and handed him to me. This baby was the BIGGEST baby I have EVER seen. I’m not kidding, he is the size of a five year old, and I had trouble holding him.) True story. Okay, so after Clarise finished “preparing the water,” she told Sara to follow her into her bedroom. I agreed to follow her with a smile on my face, a nervous smile. Why am I going to her bedroom?
A few minutes later, Sara emerged wearing only a towel. I found out later that Clarise told her to take off her clothes and gave her the towel. Sara’s explanation for following those directions: “I don’t know how the bathrooms in Rwanda work!” It’s true! I have no idea how bathrooms in Rwanda work. They can shoot out water or something, so I still strongly believe it’s valid that I followed such directions. I couldn’t help but nervously laugh when Clarise took me into her bedroom, told me take off my clothes and handed me a towel. I was a little confused, so I asked if I should only take off my jeans. Why would I need to take anything else off to go to the bathroom? She laughed and said, “Everything.” Right as she left the room to give me privacy my nervous laughter took over. What did I get myself into? I knew I should have never asked. I did as the host wished and took off my clothes. I regained my composure by repeatedly telling myself, “Sara, you do not know how bathrooms work in Rwanda, so respect the host and do as you are told. You cannot laugh as you exit this bedroom into the living room in a towel. Look straight down. Whatever you do, DO NOT make eye contact with Katy or Olivier.” Then I walked out of the bedroom into the living room… Shockingly, my speech to myself didn’t work. At this point, I was laughing so hard that I had trouble holding the enormous baby that was still in my arms. Olivier saw what was going on and also started to laugh, but he did a much better job of controlling himself (since Clarise and Vincent had no idea what could possibly be so funny). Right as I stepped foot out of the bedroom, Katy burst out laughing and I couldn’t control myself. I rushed to the door (but not too quickly since the towel was on the shorter side) and headed outside where Clarice was waiting for me. I tried to hold back my laughter as she guided me in the dark to a wooden shack 10 yards away. What the heck is going on? I was a tad hesitant to enter the shack, but as Clarice handed me the lantern I saw a glimpse of a basin, a jerry can, and soap. Then it all came together. A few minutes later, after I had somewhat gained composure, Sara returned. Still in a towel. I lost it. I kept my cool until Katy started laughing hysterically. I couldn’t stop thinking about what just happened and lost it as well. She went and got changed, and after I handed the linebacker baby back to Clarise, we all left. Apparently, Clarise thought that Sara was asking to bathe, because when she got to the bathroom there was a bucket shower waiting for her. I honestly had no idea what I got myself into until I saw the basin, jerry can, and soap. The towel, the water prepping, the demand to take off all my clothes all came together when I saw these items. Like I’ve said a hundred times the past few weeks, how am I supposed to know how bathrooms in Rwanda work?! But, I must admit that it was a much needed and extremely refreshing bucket shower after a day of wandering the streets of Kigali.
Seriously though, how was I supposed to know how bathrooms in Rwanda work? I think I will stand by that argument forever. It was quite the experience to say the least and sometimes I find myself (and Katy) randomly chuckling about that night. GT’s, GT’s.
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| Classic selfie with Katy and Olivier's niece and nephew |
To all on the
East Coast of Amurrica, please stay safe!
Cheers from the
U.G.
claaaaarise
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